..What is life all about?...

Dear Diary:
Y aqui estoy despuúes de una cena con gente que no conozco, habiendo comido cosas que no me gustan y sintiendo un fuerte dolor de estómago... despues de ir a una cena con conocidas que no me dejan nada y preguntandome ....

¿Que hice ? .. ¿De qué se trata la vida? ..y diciendo una vez más.. .como hay gente que pasa en tu vida a llenar el vacio o a formar parte solo de un momento de ella y.... ocasiones en las que tendrás que decir ... ya fue ..

Me gusta el momento en el que vivo, en el cual me pregunto tantas cosas, una búsqueda de auto conocimiento, pero tambien es momento de confusión y un poco de tristeza de no ser la persona que quieres ser. Querido diario, hoy me di cuenta que el proximo año debo estar mas pendiente de lo que que quiero ser, de lo que me hace más feliz yy eso ... precisamente eso .. perseguirlo y creo que para no perder el camino deberé enfocarme y dejar atrás momentos, personas y estilos de vida vacios.

Hoy me di cuenta que la tvida es algo más y que debo encontrarme mucho más a mi misma antes de ir con los demás. Que debo seguir en mi busqueda de la felicidad por otro camino.

Gracias Dios por darme vida hoy .

Hoy decido dormir, hoy decido ser feliz

Respiro y vivo
Te dejo diario una foto de mi amigo Boris Michalicek quien siempre expresa en sus fotos todo lo que su cuerpo no puede decir
http://www.borievky.com/gallery.php?up_gallery=26

I finally got it

Algunas veces pensamos que con caer en una acción equivocada , podemos aprender , sin embargo a veces se necesita mucho más que eso, unas cuantas veces, algunas cosas imporntates perdidas y una situación para conocer y aprender realmente,

Querido Diario:

Finalmente creo que lo entendí, y me llevo un gran vacio en mi interior, y finalmente la culpa que me extrañaba no sentir, pero gracias a estos sentimientos me siento viva. Era como la oveja perdida que no se daba cuenta de lo qeu pasaba a su alrededor y solo seguia actuando por actuar y viviendo por vivir con un vacio cada vez mayor que llevaba a un mal sentimiento acerca de mi misma, una mala actitud con los demas y problemas fisico y psicologicos .. pero .. por alguna razón la vida te permite regarla una vez más y con eso decir ... I JUST GOT IT!!!

And I actually did , life is more than that and even if it took me a long time i realized that i feel alone ... alone with soo many people around me .... but alone ... and It may be for different reasons but the point is that I need to find myself again.... I dont know what happened but i lost her ... my soul... and I will get it back ...

I realized that I have convinced a great person to do something that it may not even think it could do ... and I just thank for the chance and for alll the support ...

God has given me soo many great people around ... so manyyyyy ... and I ve been soo blind!!! ... that is time to wake up ... time to recover the lost time .. and be in sintonia con la vida y con el mundo ....

Luv this day that has made me feel so bad but at the same time so peaceful and happy ... I dont want to look back ... because experiences will always be around me ... but i will choose better ..

THanks for listening me Diary ..

Luv u

Some people...... danced

Dear Diary:
I´ve watched a movie, and at the end of it, there were some sentences saying... some people .. dance... others... run... swimm.....

And I was thinking what do I do to feel alive?
What in my life i actually do not to gain money , work or study but what makes me feel alive?

In the week i have learnt some interesting facts about

How your mind actually control your body, your health, your nerves, is amazing all that can do ... do you know that your uncounscious cant say what is real and what is virtual
Do you know that every time you think in something there is a chemical change inside of you
Do you know that you can actually die if your mind says so..

WOw amazing right?

All around us is a miracle, is something we should apreciate andgive us time to enjoy what is there made before us, the nature, the wind, the words, the nice time with a friend, with a non friend, a walk under the sun, all is a moment to enjoy...

And I want to enjoy it , i want to have the time to feel the sun, the wind, to be alone over the grass, to rest, to sleep, to walk hand by hand with the person you love, call a friend, huge a friend.

I want to clean my hearth from bad feelings, from strange thoughts i dont want to have friends, i want to be happy, i want to reconciliante, I want to be

And this is my time, this is hte life and it goes so fast that if u dont enjoy it , it will go away ....

Thanks to liste to me diary
Pd. Thanks for your comments friend :) You know who i am talking about

Just thinking...

Dear Diary:

Have you feel like your life is boring?

Have you felt like the rest of the world is having a great time ?

Have you thought that some social pages are promoting envy in each other?

Have you felt like you need to show the world that you are having a great time?

Have you taken pictures just to put them on a social utility and expect something back

Or even deeper

Have you thought in if what you are doing is exactly what you want to do and not only what you should do?

Have you thought in ….what you really want to do and come out with a decision that you aren’t going to change for a long time?

Do you actually know what you want?

I ask myself this questions a lot , and come out with different ideas, I want to :

• Study a master degree
• Travel and Live in India for a while
• Improve the company that I am part of as a partner
• Have kids
• Quit the job for a while

And at the end I don’t really know what I want to do first….. and I keep thinking .. I know I am working for something, improving my self, but I still don’t Love something that much to leave everything and start doing it .

I think that makes me frustrated… not knowing what to do , where to start, where to go , just live .. and don’t even live well, but live with hurry … No time for sleeping, no time for resting, no time for exercise more than an hour , no time for reading … no for being with friends … I am living in a hurry and I want to stop it but at the same time I don’t want to stop moving…

What makes a person happy and satisfied :

• Love
• Health
• Family
• Food & Home
• A place where you belong
• A person that cares about you
• A job
• A person that needs you
• To offer your life in order to improve somebody elses live

I think that when you have many of them , the thing that will always miss is the opportunity to give your hand to somebody else, to offer your experience and live to help somebody ... until that time you ll be complete

Lets stop thinking and start doing it .

Dont want to do anything. change anything , listen anything

Dear Diary,

Sometimes i feel like i dont need u anymore and the i remember that i do need someone that listen to me without saying anything back, but now is time for me to talk to u .

I have tried really hard to change, to be a nicer person but this is getting even worse and worse the harder i try the worse it goes .

Something not very nice, happened last week, i got in a shock , i didint really know how to react apart that i have to give me some credit on my reaction

1. i didnt cry in the beginning,

2. I didnt run and leave the place closing the door

3. I didnt say bad words.

I think even it took me as a suprise i could think and then react , I did cry at some point and i felt really bad i still dont know how i am going to react later , i do think that i lost a part of a good friendship but at the end ... Do i want it back? Do i want a friend that doesnt say anything until he explotes and Bull Shit me in front of others? , Do i want a person that i cant trust anymore? I may ... but just as part of my life and in a small part of it .

What it made me mad is that I am sad ..!!! Damn i am sad and i have been sad the whole week, thiniking and thinking if iam wrong, and i got to the conclusion that I am not like that for nothing, i havent done that to everybody or react like that with all , but people do need to get on my nerves to make me react like that ... is the reaction good or bad ? Id ont know is just it , is just MY reaction .. and i should accept myself on it .

Other thing is that there are many people around me saying that " poor people that are close to me like husband, mom etc" coz they must be suffering .... i mean WHAT A HELL right?? How and WHo are them to say that to throw the first rock on me ? And Why have i accept that ?? , I ended up deciding that i should stay away of it, of comments, people that thinks that way for a while, until i get back my confidence and my life

At the end... Am i such abad person?? Am i that bad so people feel sorry for the ones that are next to me ??

I dont think so

Thanks for hearing me diary .