Remembering the purpose

Sometimes I tend to forget what is the reality of my life,what are the things that really matter and isnot the career, beauty, longevity or even love couple, its much more than that is the effort that I can do to make this world a bit better, its the energy I transmit in every person that passes by, the joy of every moment, the decision of not hurting anyone and regret for it, its realizing of the mistakes I make and try as many times as it is necessary to avoid repeating them.

I know is hard, as a human i tend to be selfish, to ignore whatever feeling that hurts me and at the end is like living in a bubble, inside an ok bubble. I live in a country that despite the good feelings of the majority, we are in a constant battle against ourselves, corruption, drugs, murders, lies, and we have learnt to see it naturally, How did we get to this point? How a society can see a murder as a "day to day" reality? How could we get to be so indifferent to the brother's pain? How did this happen?

I know that sometimes the frustration is overwhelming, and that's what we decide to pretend "is not happening", of course its easier, If I don't accept it, it doesn't exist.

In my life i keep having teachers, one of them accompany my life for 10 years, and I get happy when I talk to him, today I had a great conversation and my soul was in peace. The other one is next to me right now, he is teaching me patience, he is teaching me to let things flow and that actions say more than words and promises, he is with me every day and is my inspiration to fight, to work, I hope I can teach him something for his life.

Challenges are around us, and if we sucumb to them, our hearth will suffer, I am learning this day b day and i hope i will have the strength to keep my goals clear.

 Thanks diary for listening, one more time.

A journey to an unexpected destination

Dear Diary 

I didnt want to talk to you because everything looked so gray that I didint want to  write about it and then read it and find out that I was seeing the world in the wrong colour, You know this days I have cried a lot but I have also received the help of others and meet many other souls that have the same fears, dreams, curiosity for life that i havent felt alone for one moment! .  Also the people I ve met in the past has been there for me, supporting me, huging me and reminding me that I am not alone.

This is a hard time I am in the middle ofthe way without a defined path to follow, I know I should be excited and happy for what it comes in front of me but I just dont know what is the right thing to do or the right decision to take, I just know that I will put myself out there in the world and for some reason my hearth will lead my way.

There are people that arrive to your life and that you feel that you would like to have them around but for some reason is not the time or the place to be and you have to let it go but not in the way of a total separation but a light strong thread that will hold you both until the time and the place comes but I should be able to improve myself and keep enjoying the life and being positive about it by myself along the way .

I wish that decisions could be made now, that goals, expectations and actions could be made but I am sure that if there hasnt been done its because something better is in front of me and that I must keep working hard and smiling while this happens.

By now the only thing I can do is to enjoy! enjoy all the journey until the final destination comes! .

Work hard, dream far

Dear Diary:

In life many of the decisions are not easy or unpainful, actually the most important ones , the ones that will represent a big step on your life are actually the exactly opposite, I have read a post from a guy that is , I think around 15 older than me and has followed the path I want in a professional career however he is in a stage in life where you get to stop and think on whether what you are doing is really what you want to do. I have asked myself this questions a numerous times, some days I go to bed thinking "maybe tomorrow I can do it better" or "I think this was a great day" I have learnt a lot in these last years and honestly I have taken my own decisions, I have being honest to myself, and I am proud of it! I may have changed some wrong steps in life however everyone has taught me something and I am very happy to have taken them.

I am still believing that i dont want to be rich, I dont want to be poor either but i want a calm life full of freedom and love. I want to share my life with someone, I want to be able to help others and I would love to keep learning something new every day. Is this a lot to ask? Maybe yes, maybe not, I am working for it and i know that right now doesnt look promising, but I know that soon the things will change, will improve. in the meanwhile there is no other thing to do than to keep dreaming!

Stressed / Overloaded

Dear Diary :

I really dont like the times when I dont know where to start, I just feel that is non sense of having those moments in life! .

This week is getting harder and harder, every teacher is giving so many assignments and the group projects are starting to accumulate! I cant really see an ending of it!..

However I am also stressed for the accommodation, can you believe that I posted to 4 different websites, had to join several groups like Arabs in london, italians in london, french in london !! so funny, I hope it works!! But as one person told me yesterday, after doing the work something should come out from it and if it doesnt is because is the best for you... so I hope everythin will go great.. but to be honest I REALLY want to move!! that house will be so much fun to live with Moises and now there is a chance that even Tarek will move there ... will be so great!! I love this guys they are so nice and crazy , and I really need someone to talk to while I am at home!

On the other side there are nice new topics that I am learning and we are going to compete for this case challenge about water .org, an organization that helps people to get the water they need is so great! I just posted a signature on this blog and I will put some on other sites, we need to understand the importance of water and how is affecting the lives of many!

Thanks Diary, and I really need to do some exercise today, I have been sitting for 10 hours today! nuts!

Big hug and gutten nacht!

Sometimes you just got to do, what you got to do

DIARY:

Sometimes we keep looking for something that we will never find outside,

sometimes we dream of having something that you are not meant to have this life

Sometimes we forgot the reason why we are in this world

Sometimes we search for something that it doesnt exist.

Sometimes we are stock in our teenager days

Sometimes we must be strong in the consequences of our acts

Sometimes we just need to accept our reality and keep working

Sometimes we need to learn how to live happy with whatever we ´ve got

Sometimes is time to mature

Sometimes we just have to do what we are meant to do

This is one of those times.

JUST to PASS through something is not enough to' KNOW it

Dear Diary:
Many things have gone through my mind these days i know what I want, I know what I need to really work hard on and I know that my mind is pretty much disturbed by the attachments I have to people and to a this particular topic- u know- .

In this matter i am such an ignorant, but I am glad i ve been through some stages that have moved me from dislike it, to ignore it to grasp it, and finally to' getting to' know it... I have realized that is a feeling many people have had at some point of their lives and by recognizing my total ignorane and decide to learn about it, some things have clarified , I have to' say that is very interesting to read about it and getting to see it in such a spiritual way however i have just this only one person in mind whenever i have to deal with this topic, and I know that right now i just should leave my feelings arise or decrease withouth reacting to' them ... It maybe because of the excitement he brings to it, the knowledge I have gained or maybe because i love the "me" that I am with it.

But then I think that there is much more about it I want to experience , to know, to feel and that the Main reason of it is that I should be' ready in mind to be able to manage such a great energy in myself

i just can tell u that I have tools now to learn to' manage my mind and i have the strength to pursue the REAL it

Thanks for listening

me