Remembering the purpose

Sometimes I tend to forget what is the reality of my life,what are the things that really matter and isnot the career, beauty, longevity or even love couple, its much more than that is the effort that I can do to make this world a bit better, its the energy I transmit in every person that passes by, the joy of every moment, the decision of not hurting anyone and regret for it, its realizing of the mistakes I make and try as many times as it is necessary to avoid repeating them.

I know is hard, as a human i tend to be selfish, to ignore whatever feeling that hurts me and at the end is like living in a bubble, inside an ok bubble. I live in a country that despite the good feelings of the majority, we are in a constant battle against ourselves, corruption, drugs, murders, lies, and we have learnt to see it naturally, How did we get to this point? How a society can see a murder as a "day to day" reality? How could we get to be so indifferent to the brother's pain? How did this happen?

I know that sometimes the frustration is overwhelming, and that's what we decide to pretend "is not happening", of course its easier, If I don't accept it, it doesn't exist.

In my life i keep having teachers, one of them accompany my life for 10 years, and I get happy when I talk to him, today I had a great conversation and my soul was in peace. The other one is next to me right now, he is teaching me patience, he is teaching me to let things flow and that actions say more than words and promises, he is with me every day and is my inspiration to fight, to work, I hope I can teach him something for his life.

Challenges are around us, and if we sucumb to them, our hearth will suffer, I am learning this day b day and i hope i will have the strength to keep my goals clear.

 Thanks diary for listening, one more time.

Work hard, dream far

Dear Diary:

In life many of the decisions are not easy or unpainful, actually the most important ones , the ones that will represent a big step on your life are actually the exactly opposite, I have read a post from a guy that is , I think around 15 older than me and has followed the path I want in a professional career however he is in a stage in life where you get to stop and think on whether what you are doing is really what you want to do. I have asked myself this questions a numerous times, some days I go to bed thinking "maybe tomorrow I can do it better" or "I think this was a great day" I have learnt a lot in these last years and honestly I have taken my own decisions, I have being honest to myself, and I am proud of it! I may have changed some wrong steps in life however everyone has taught me something and I am very happy to have taken them.

I am still believing that i dont want to be rich, I dont want to be poor either but i want a calm life full of freedom and love. I want to share my life with someone, I want to be able to help others and I would love to keep learning something new every day. Is this a lot to ask? Maybe yes, maybe not, I am working for it and i know that right now doesnt look promising, but I know that soon the things will change, will improve. in the meanwhile there is no other thing to do than to keep dreaming!

Ranking values

Well... I have had a longggg week and today i chat with a friend who told me " Hey did u forget ur diary ? and well no i didnt but sometimes i cant just find a moment for me on the day jajaa .....usually when i go to the bathroom i find a peaceful time ajajaja other wise i just keep living withouth analyzing what i do and why i do it .

Yesterday i went to my course and we made a great activity we ;ve choosen previously 3 sound ( a song that u like , a soundof an animal and a sound of nature ) also one smell that u like, and a phrase that u tell urself when u are having a succes. with all that we made a "SUcces Ancla" a 5 min exercise in which a person tells u a series of things u should imagine meanwhile u listen th sounds, smell and listen ur phrase .. quite interesting . I ll explain that later in detail

I decided to write today because it seems that i am committing sabotage to my self, i am trying to get somewhere by doing exactly the same i used to do when i got somewhere else and iremembered a phrase that said "Do the same thing and u ll have the same results"

Otra cosa es que hoy me dolio el ego mas que otra cosa pero el ego es lo que no puedo dejar que me toquen sin defenderme, a veces siento que estoy a la defensiva en todo lo que hago y ni si quiera se porque .... en algunas ocasiones ni siquiera se porque hago las cosas cuando ni siquiera estoy realmente interesada en algo o alguien .. es una locura, pero bueno poco a poco me va cayendo el veinte .. dicen que nadie escarmenta en cabeza ajena pero a veces en la propia tienes uqe darte tres guamazos a tu orgullo pa que entiendas jaajaj

Ayer que hice el ejercicio tenia que pensar en algo que quisiera hacer,... one goal, one dream and i had in my mind 2 of them , my master anda family .. God ialmost cry with the dream of my own family but then both goals were fighting to each other to be the one , the first .. i dont even know what i really want .. sucks jajajaj maybe as Marco says " that is probably the dream of me 5 years ago but that may not be the same as me now,so listen the me that is now and dont live with the dreams of ur childhood or teenagertime" ... amazing ,... didnt even think about it before .

Que loco pero estoy enojada conmigo misma , no me importa nadie mas pero conmigo porque siento que la regue otra vez pero ... como no !! haciendo lo mismo obtienes los mismos resultados .. necesito cambiar las acciones .. HOY! porque primero estoy yo y lo que siento , pienso y quiero en lo mas profundo de mi y esto no lo quiero .. no lo quiero!

gracias por escucharme otra vez Diario, acabo de aventarte todo un vomito mental jajaaj