... Learning, LIVING, smiling...

Dear diary

I would like to tell u about some things that have made me learn so fast in such a short time..

Last week I went to ask a recommendation letter to a professor that has been very valuable in my professional career , she understands and knows me personally a littel bit. She asked me why I wanted to go to that master and about my plans to the trip, she said " 10 years ago, when i was 28, something in my life wasnt right, is a complicated, confusing, sad, desesperate but also interesting and happy period of your life, everything has sense and nothing did at the same time.

- how old are you she asked .

- 28 , i said smiling and feeling exactly how she described the period felt.

- It will be great , dont worry, is a period that teaches you a lot , but at the same time is the preparation for the new age , the 30´s.. a great time for you, you´ll see ... , I love the " Maria" ( to say a name , that is not her name) in the 20´s , and admire and enjoy the "maria in her 30´s and I have so much hope for the "maria in her 40´s, every body says is the best age" she said

-I was listening to her so carefully, ful of hope and happiness, when the celphone rang, it was " the nice soul" I will put this name when i refer to this person " the nice soul" and I had to answer and say can i call you later?

sure , the nice soul said .

I keep listening to what "Maria had to say" left her office with my recommnedation letter and a smile in my face, I knew she was right , time will come even better !! .

Today the nice soul woke me up with one question and a little anger , wheter the soul wants to accept it or not jajaja , I ended up answering it and making a decision, a decision that I know is the best .. Time will come, destiny will show me the way and whether this has a different end , (we never know what happens next, future is not said , nothing is definite ) this is not the right time or place for it , with this soul, great adventures, excelent experiences, nice talks has passed , this soul has listened to what I have to say and has to do nothing more than give me a big hug, those that u dont need to say a word coz I can clearly " heard" the feelings and thoughts in that hug of 2 souls.

So today I found my self thinking .. should i cry?.. No ( a little voice said that , is not time to do that), should I turn on the netbook .. NO ( u may end up doing stupid things) .. should I watch tv ... No ... =)

U SHOULD Run!! ... so I literally put some pants, took my ipod ( and is not a commercial here jjajja) , a shirt and went out running ... BEST decision!! I ran for about 2 hours in I guess 10 kms!! =) .. but on that time I thought I asked my self... how do u feel ? .. A big smile appeared in my face ... HAPPY!!! I havent lost anything ANYTHING , I am just FINE! ... and well things happens for a reason .... and always for somethig better.

I ran to the park, around the park, through the whole neighbor hood, to the entrance and back ... I sang an italian song with all my voice while people were smiling at me .. probably thinking .. what is going on with her . but she is funny.. and yea I felt funny I imagined myself in a dress in the grass dancing around the green grass smiling... when a " hombres G song started" and I remembered myself in my 18´s ... jumping in the sofas and matress at my home town singing this song.... 10 years has passed and i felt the same way so .... I RAN!!! with all my strength!! I ran !!! and a big smile in my face appeared I felt the wind, the sun, i opened my arms and think... jezz I wanted to do run like this for so long ... and I am doing it !!

For now .. I keep my feelings the good feelings and FOCUS.. I have in front of me a big task.. I wanna be abetter person, I wanna enjoy the himalayas and I wanna be A BETTER ME .. U know diary I read a " what i wanna do letter" I wrote last year .. man .. I am in 50% of it ... YEA BABE!! I will be 100% probably in a year .. and it was a 5 years in front letter ...

Life is this.. an extraordinary journey full of experiences...

And if emotions are slaves of your thoughts, and I am a slave of my emotions...

God help me to think only positive ... I love you, I Love this , I love all the time that you have given me to live and I dont want to lose this...

I love to feel everything, thanks forall the souls in my life.

THanks for listening....

This cant be that bad if It can make me feel so good

Dear Diary:

I cant simply tell you what has happened.. coz i dont even know what happened that I decided to change my life a 180°.. and I feel ( as I have been saying the whole week) as a mixer full of emotions =)

I am doing profesionally someting different, is not that I decided to leave the dream of making my country a better one or losing my faith in the new generation of leaders and profesionals but I think this is such a slow way and depence on so many decisions that I kind a got tired of waiting, I know that for many people it may seem like I have run away but is not that , is just that for some reason is NOW when I must complete some dreams..

Diary, I am going to India!! .. remember that I wanted so much togo there.. and the most exciting thing is that I am going by myself.. I am so excited that you cant imagine, I just feel myself laughing there and thinking... what was i thinking when idecided to come here alone???? =) I have asked so many things of different friends that have gone there that I stopped listening pr analyzing but so far just enjoying the feeling of excitement.

Can you believe that I wont be able to talk on my birhtday?? HAHAHA my first birthday withtout a WORD!! andI will take advantage of it , I will write and I was thinking of even write a book about how we mexicans are able to do so many things and we are just not doing them .. or maybe we are but then why its unseemable?

I am applying for my master and half of my hearth wants to be accepted and RUN AWAY literally of the feeling´s mixer but the other half just wanna stay here and start another dream and being with the people I love, so either they accept me or not I will be pretty happy with it .

And well I have get to know a friend that is really cool, that has the same belief for our country, our people, our goals and I just hope that this friend wont go anywhere and stay in mexico to support our development ...even if the answer of the "dont go " is a " I´ll think about it" jaajaja is a funny and smart person, but is a mexican that I feel proud of. =)

So many things around these days , but such a good feeling inside of me that everyday I travel my 1 hour by bus reading this great book of an American girl traveling to Italy, india and Indonesia, while listening to great german music, makes me so happy and full that I have found myself smiling or in tears looking at nothing and thinking in everything. I know that whatever the destiny has planned, there is a soul that cant do anything but feeling happy.

I lov my life more than never before, I feel alive, complete...

My soul is an spiritual soul & my life is based on service... I am on my way ..

Thanks for listening..