Let it go & make a room for something better

Dear diary :

I was really trying to let this feeling go away and just now I ve just realized that is still there , that there is a hope in my hearth for it to succed... and It just has hurt me real bad .. I dont want to cry, I dont want to feel this pain in my chest, this feeling of "shit I screw this again" .. "how can i just f*.. things like this" and with tears in my eyes I am just wondering and asking .. please God take this away from me ..

I must forgive myself for everything and move on..

I just look so great when I am happy, I can just light myself and imagine me flying on the floor, singing and smiling, I know that my being is in this world for a greater reason than feelign guilty and sad, I am here to light in the world and make other people's life light too

I am sorry God, you have given me so much, so many things in my life and I have not valued them as I should, give me God another chance to do it . Take me to thepath you want me to follow and put me away of everything that can distract me and destroy me.

I want to be happy again all the time, I want to focus on the beauty of my life as I do almost all day .. =) I am a happy person, i have always been , u know diary, today I went to talk to the vp of education at the Univ. he told me " Hey I have the hope thatyou will come back, there are many people here that likes you alot, and is not only for your charisma, but for your achievements" ... man!! that made me feel proud of myself and happy for the situation.. I am scared of course I am .. life is always full of surprises but I think I am alittle wildwith mine =) .

Today also a friend send me an email wishing me luck and sending me the best vibres from kms away and I know she meant it, thanks God for all the people you have put in my life, for all the angels U have sent me .

I will be better ,I am already a better person that I was few moments ago..

Luv u , luv this life that can teach me a lesson every day

I am alife! ...

G od help me, god help me to help others on my way ..

Pd. And now that I think it clearly.. probably all this lesson is for me to learn how to let thing flow!!.. somebody told me that this life is for me to learn this .. probably is just that this is a way fro me to learn it... I dont want to have this kind a lesson again but I can definetely learn people , situations and feelings flow with it... =)

BUSCA LO MÁS VITAL NO MAS ..

Sometimes we spent our life trying to find answers, to understand things, situations, that may not have a real answer a real solution. And then in a day like today and yesterday I just realize that ... eyy baby ... I am alife!! , I am healthy, I am young, I am smart .. and why not.. I am pretty!! =) So why to spend my time in these, why I am trying to understand it, why I get sad when I realize that things have changed, that I ve lost people on the way, I ve kept some of them too ... why not to be happy just for the fact of being HERE !!

I was watching a "teenager´sprositution in Mexico" documental today and I was so shocked.. I mean I can really spend my time, thoughts, efforts and emotions doing something more productive for the world, for myself , for my people... so I was thinking that if i dont study next semester I will really put my efforts on doing things for the humanity , this is the time and the place to do it !! .

I will be at my current job one week more and I have this great feeling of " I have friends, I have done a good job here, I am leaving it with all the proud I can " .. This was good ! and what comes will be even better! .

SO ...

Busca lo más vital no mas

Lo que es necesidad nomas

y olvídate de la preocupación...

HOY Soy feliz! =)

Finding the missing piece inside of me

Dear Diary:

Here i go with my next goal ..this is a hard age... I wanna laugh at when I am in my 30´s .. so in order to do that ...

I will experience happiness as an individual first again ..

Being grateful with what I already have..

• What I like about myself ...

I like being a person who thinks that everything is possible
I like the sensitiveness in my heart
I like my determination to do what I want to do
I like being a dreamer
I like myself when I look at me in the mirror
I like being a clown and being able to laugh at myself
I like being analytic but at the same time adventurous
I like being an independent and smart woman

• What I have going pretty well in my life ...

I have finished part of my academic dreams
I have the strenght to travel, to experience dreams and life alone
I have worked in what I wanted
I have done stupid things and learnt with my mistakes
I have adapt myself in hard situations
I have realized of my weaknesses
I have got to know myself deeper

• What I want to let go ...

The insecurity of my decisions
The unknown "what i want"
The anxiety of wanting to do things I cant manage
The sadness of not being great
The stubborness of not accepting and enjoy my reality
The stupidity of not let people go away from my life.
The blindness of not realizing who I am for who and not prioritize this in my decisions
The emptiness in my heart

God Help me to let the situations, feelings, persons flow , let me be in balance with myself.

HELP ME WITH THIS FEELING.. help me to forget, to take away a feeling that is not real, help me to find myself again, help me to love myself, the nature, the world around me, teach me how to share this love , teach me how to scape from this.

I am grateful to Spirit/God from the bottom of my heart for all the above-mentioned blessings. I am so blessed and lucky! Thank you very much!