Dear Diary,
I have decided to put things clear on the table, to be honest to myself and say what I feel and believe, I may have change things between us but I had to say it. I wish next week I will be given a visa to study abroad for a while, one part of me really wants to go, and the other would love to stay close to him but in a different situation and as there is no way I can change that situation now, I think the best decision I can make is to go.. it may sound like I am running away but I am just protecting myself and giving myself space to have peace and clarity. YOu know Diary I am freaking out, I am so scared of going there alone with no money and no friends but inside of me I know that I will make my best to do it, to achive what I want and I know that my decision will be.... Being alone, I am afraid of losing this great support that has been there for me all these years, this great friend and beautiful human being but is not fair, is not fair to be 20% there, to be only his friend, he needs someone else that would be there for him 100 % and I cant coz you know why .. and I also need to accept the idea that my other dream may never become true, and it hurts , it really does but is true, my dream may realize that is not willing to be more than what it is and I must be prepared and this year diary is for me to have peace and clarity, I want that I need that ..
Please universal energy Hari OM help me to have this peace , get inside of me, I am opening my hearth for you.
Thanks diary , I have hope, give me GOd the strength Ineed to find my peace.
Please and I promess you Ill make my best to get it .
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