wHat do I want? or What I dont want?

Diary:

I guess the answer for the question what do I want? has always been hard and complicated for me, specially because things keep changing, life is dynamic and expectations and dreams change, but so far I can say I want:

• To keep meeting people
• To feel like a live in a fairy tale
• To have the opportunity to make my decision with no strings
• To have someone whom to love
• To be able to cry, to laugh, to smile, to get surprised.

I sometimes think that you get addicted to those feelings and keep looking for them, the point that I am not sure is wheter this is good or bad

What I dont want.

• To feel I have failed
• To say "if I would have tried it.."
• To be in a place where I dont want to be or doing something I dont want ( this tends to be hard because at some point you always have bad moments but in general I would say I dont want to live like that)

What do I dream of:

• I woulld like to go Asia and live there for a while
• I would like to stay in England and live by myself for a while ( but then I dont know about the kind of job I want to do)
• I would like to work in an environment where you trust each other, you care about the goal (like an NGO or a peaceful achievement)
• I would like to feel more free , to walk alone with no strings,( guess this part is more on mind so Ill keep working on it)

Now the question is ..whereto start? what decision to make? I am usually a dreamer but the last years I have seen things in a realistic way and I get afraid, scared of not finding the balance, of not having those chances. I know that many people havent had the oppportunities I have had and I am very grateful for them , then I wonder if I deserve to have more.

Ill keep thinking, this years have been also amazing for my self knowledge ;)

Thanks for listening

YO

Spring Meditation

Dear Diary:

Sorry to abandon you for so long, but i have been thinking, meditating and analyzing my attitudes,behaviours and so on.

I have made a big effort to increase my network and to develop networking skills, in the beginning I did it only for the sake of having more people on the linked in account or followers on twitter as a goal but then I realize that it will take a while until i find my place on my professional career, that the competition is hard and numerous and that there are guys there who will be better and with better connections, that sometimes make me stress however after all... I dont really want to be rich and famous, I just want to find a place, a calm place where I can do what I love, where I can have tme to rest, enjoy, be with family and keep doing hobbies.

I have meet many interesting people on the way but as one of my friend said " its not enough to meet people but to keep that connection" obviously is hard when it gets to a big number but also the real connections do not require a constant communication but once in a while deep and honest ones.

I will keep fighting and dreaming for a future full of the present while enjoying my time around such amazing people.

I have to say that I have never felt more attractive or sure in my life with who i am , i guess is all about the age and how mature you can get when you are reaching the 30s but I am grateful with the life for giving me this opportunity and I dont want to damage it by getting involve in situations that will take my peace away.. there is so much to do that I can not unfocus now. I am here to enjoy, live, smile and keep dreaming!

=) Thanks for listening diary

Yo