wHat do I want? or What I dont want?

Diary:

I guess the answer for the question what do I want? has always been hard and complicated for me, specially because things keep changing, life is dynamic and expectations and dreams change, but so far I can say I want:

• To keep meeting people
• To feel like a live in a fairy tale
• To have the opportunity to make my decision with no strings
• To have someone whom to love
• To be able to cry, to laugh, to smile, to get surprised.

I sometimes think that you get addicted to those feelings and keep looking for them, the point that I am not sure is wheter this is good or bad

What I dont want.

• To feel I have failed
• To say "if I would have tried it.."
• To be in a place where I dont want to be or doing something I dont want ( this tends to be hard because at some point you always have bad moments but in general I would say I dont want to live like that)

What do I dream of:

• I woulld like to go Asia and live there for a while
• I would like to stay in England and live by myself for a while ( but then I dont know about the kind of job I want to do)
• I would like to work in an environment where you trust each other, you care about the goal (like an NGO or a peaceful achievement)
• I would like to feel more free , to walk alone with no strings,( guess this part is more on mind so Ill keep working on it)

Now the question is ..whereto start? what decision to make? I am usually a dreamer but the last years I have seen things in a realistic way and I get afraid, scared of not finding the balance, of not having those chances. I know that many people havent had the oppportunities I have had and I am very grateful for them , then I wonder if I deserve to have more.

Ill keep thinking, this years have been also amazing for my self knowledge ;)

Thanks for listening

YO