JUST to PASS through something is not enough to' KNOW it

Dear Diary:
Many things have gone through my mind these days i know what I want, I know what I need to really work hard on and I know that my mind is pretty much disturbed by the attachments I have to people and to a this particular topic- u know- .

In this matter i am such an ignorant, but I am glad i ve been through some stages that have moved me from dislike it, to ignore it to grasp it, and finally to' getting to' know it... I have realized that is a feeling many people have had at some point of their lives and by recognizing my total ignorane and decide to learn about it, some things have clarified , I have to' say that is very interesting to read about it and getting to see it in such a spiritual way however i have just this only one person in mind whenever i have to deal with this topic, and I know that right now i just should leave my feelings arise or decrease withouth reacting to' them ... It maybe because of the excitement he brings to it, the knowledge I have gained or maybe because i love the "me" that I am with it.

But then I think that there is much more about it I want to experience , to know, to feel and that the Main reason of it is that I should be' ready in mind to be able to manage such a great energy in myself

i just can tell u that I have tools now to learn to' manage my mind and i have the strength to pursue the REAL it

Thanks for listening

me